The Super Smash Brothers: BRAWLERS
by Majunks Ace
Summary: Mario and the gang are at it again. This time they're looking for the mysterious John Handcock Handcock. Based on the up coming videogame for the Nintendo Wii! It could start a REVOLUTION!
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. For now, it doesn't seem too bad, but do be warned, this fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue

Prologue

Seven years ago, in a place called HAL laboratories, a great force gathered heroes from eight of HAL Labs latest games scheduled for release in 1999. That force was called Master Hand. And those heroes were easily defeated by Master Hand's henchmen. But Master Hand hadn't finished. No, he wanted more. So he continued and proceeded to kidnap the twelve strongest heroes in another galaxy. That galaxy was the galaxy of N64. And that was part of Master Hand's biggest mistake. He gathered warriors from the Mushroom Kingdom, Dream Land, Congo Island, the land of Hyrule, planet Zebes, planet Corneria, Yoshi's Island and the country of Kanto. And it appeared that he had conquered. But those heroes included Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus Aran, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox McCloud, and Pikachu. And together, along with four other friends, the team formed an alliance of heroes called the Super Smash Brothers. And they were able to conquer Master Hand, his captain Metal Mario and his hordes called the Fighting Polygon Team. Afterwards, the twelve warriors used Master Hand's devious devices to return home.

Two years later, in the year 2001, a mysterious force was sensed towards the center of the Nintendo galaxy. Interest piqued, Mario and nine of the Super Smash Brothers investigated. The truth was that Master Hand had returned and he had found a way to compress the entire galaxy into a side scrolling battle for life. And as the Smash Brothers dueled Master Hand and his armies, the team was overwhelmed: Even with the additional assistance of Ness and Captain Falcon. All hope was lost. Until help from an unexpected source arose. A team lead by Mario's arch nemesis Bowser which included Princess Peach, Nana and Popo the Ice Climbers, Princess Zelda and her alter ego Sheik and Bowser himself lead and assault to help defeat Master Hand. After a daring rescue, Mario reforms the Super Smash Brothers into the Smash Brothers Melee! The fourteen Melee fighters are both brave and powerful, but even their force was unable to best Master Hand.

Until Mario's younger brother, Luigi, returned from filming Luigi's Mansion. And upon his return, he learned that Mario was struggling with a resurrected Master Hand. Luigi, his Super Smash Sister Jigglypuff and nine new fighters (Including Mario's alter ego Dr. Mario, Pikachu's nemesis Mewtwo, Link's arch enemy Ganondorf and two young princes called Marth and Roy) rushed to Mario's aid. And together, heroes and villains, managed to beat back the fighting polygons and make it to the elite fighters in Master Hand's crew. With Master Hand on the ropes and only his captain Metal Mario to protect him, the evil fist called in reinforcements of his own. Crazy Hand burst onto the scene. And with his army of fighting wireframes, his command over his monster called Giga Bowser and his own left index finger Mario brother (Metal Luigi), Crazy Hand evened out the odds. Of course, the twenty-five Melee fighters out matched the evil hordes. Mario, Link, Pikachu and Donkey Kong defeated the evil hand brothers. Giga Bowser was slain by Ganondorf, Mewtwo and of course the original Bowser. The Metal Mario Bros were toppled by the spectacular swordsman Young Link (Aided by Marth and Roy) and the rest routed the Fighting Wireframe team.

With the galaxy saved, the Super Smash Brothers Melee fighters proceeded to have their own series of tournaments for fun, and even participated in a fighting league. The galaxy at peace, in the year 2006 the twenty-five warriors finally left the Smash world.

Now, a mysterious entity named John Handcock is sending invitations all over the galaxy to join him for lunch. The question is, WHY?

Author's note: What is up, my hommie g-dogs? No, I'm kidding. Hey, I'm Majunks Ace. I used to do this whole writing thing a while ago. I even had a digimon fic (That lasted like 2 chapters. But I'm starting that up again. Check it out when you get the chane: Search Digimon Digital Warriors). But anyway, I started this story as a celebration for the greatest game of all time: SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL! I'm trying to have 2 chapters a week for this one. My Spring Break started this week so I intend to honor that. Mondays and Fridays, be sure to R&R, and let me know what stories _you _do. (I love reading everyone else's stuff up here). Thank you Tomodachi!


	2. Chapter 1: Enter Mario & Link

SUPER SMASH BROTHERS  
BRAWL!!!

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This work contains: Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. Otherwise, drop it like it's hot.

Chapter 1: Wii got the message

"Do-do-do-do-do-do, DO!" Whistled a pudgy man in a red hat. He snapped his overalls over his red shirt and pranced outside of a massive castle. He strolled out towards the mailbox as he whistled his happy tune and swept up an armload of letters.

"Hey Mario, anything good?" Shouted a squeaky voice as the man returned to the castle's kitchen.

"Lemmie take-a look huh?" He replied. "This is for me, me, me, Luigi, Baby me, this is for Megaman… bill, bill, Super Mario Strikers Charged, bill, me, bill, free wii offer. Geez, look at all this crap. I'll tell ya Peach."

The voice poked out from behind the door, flashing a golden tiara in the light. She flicked her auburn-gold hair from her blue eyes and stared into his big azure ones. "Wassa matta Mario?"

"I'm-a sick of this. Look, I'm supposa play soccer, then 3-on-3 basketball, baseball, golf, be a doctor, drive racecars, rescue princesses, travel through time. Geez, I do everything but plumb now." The mustachioed man complained.

"Super Mario Plumbing… I wonder." Peach considered, slipping her gloves back on. "Oh yeah, you have a message on the Wii."

Mario brandished a Wiimote and clicked the A-button at the message screen. It opened up and he stared at it dumbfounded. "Wassa Mario? I'm Japanese, I can't read Italian!"

"Mario, that's your name you dumb ass!"

"Oh." He shrugged. "Lessa see… Diaranto Samashu Borozasu Ekkusu? What is that? And who's John Handcock?"

"Who knows, you gonna be home by dinner?"

"I dunno, maybe." Mario shrugged, walking towards the door.

"Pick uppa pizza on the way in!" Peach shouted at Mario as he left.

"Pizza? You some typ-a racist?" Mario growled. "Shut uppa yo face!" He finished, slamming the door behind him. He snarled as he approached his go-kart, slamming a golden mushroom into the fuel tank and shooting off towards the Toad Turnpike.

"SIYA!" Roared a green clad young man, as he thrust his shining gold sword forwards.

"CUT!" A bell rang and the teen stopped, pulling his blade back. He helped the monster he had been fighting to its feet. "Alright, let's get 'im into the cel-shaded gear for the Phantom Hourglass shoot. Take five Link!"

"Right, right." He sighed, sheathing his sword. "Great acting Midna."

Link's shadow melted out into a tiny figure. It floated up to Link's shoulder and nodded.  
"I do what I can. So how's about a spot in the next realistic looking Zelda game?" Midna asked, with wide yellow eyes.

"We'll see kid, we'll see." Link nodded to his intern. The intern gave a thumbs-up and crossed Midna off the "returns in the next game" list.

"Oh and Mr. Link, sir, you got a letter." The squeaky voiced intern added, handing Link a Wiimote. Link clicked the A button and the message came up.

"John Handcock eh? That's an odd name…" He scratched his chin. "I'll be back in a while. Get my car."

"Yes sir." He replied. A moment later the squeaky voiced intern rushed in on the back of Link's trust steed Epona. He reared back on her and waved happily. Epona let out a neigh and bucked the proud intern off her coffee colored coat. As he landed, a snap echoed through the room and the intern groaned in pain. Link looked down on the man and edged over to his horse.

"Epona, yip-yip!" He ordered, kicking the colt in the sides. She whinnied and rushed out the studio doors.

Author's note: Okay, fair enough. It's not a terribly great intro story, but it gets the job done. I'm gonna chalk up another chapter in a minute (I feel like not adding any action is kinda robbing readers.) There are probably continuity errors somewhere, but the story is half comedy, so I'm just trying to have fun with it. Again, please R&R (I love negative and positive feedback so feel free to do either)


	3. Chapter 2: Pikachu, and Kirby too

Chapter 2: Wii wanna come too

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This work contains: Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. Just you wait and see, I have plenty of jokes the FCC would have shot me for in a diffrent time.

"Jump no ichiban, Slam dunk kamasu Tyson!" Sang a tiny silhouette, outside the spot light. It back flipped into the air and flipped its microphone around. "Boku wa datte baiyo, Anata daisuki watashi sou!"

"Yatta! Ketchum-sama!" Cheered the audience of school children. They spent their entire Saturday at the concert. The spot light finally came back down and illuminated the figure. It lit up his shiny yellow-gold coat, sparkling black eyes and his pointy ears perked up as it tried to balance itself on its lightning bolt shaped tail.

"Bokutachi wa, Fighting Dreama! Takami wo mezashite." He sang. "Fighting Dreama, Narifuri Kamawazu, Fighting Dreama, shingiru ga mama ni! Ori, Ori, Ori, Oh. Just go my way!"

"Pikachu-sama!" Shouted a stage hand. "Nintendo Wii wa!"

Pikachu instantly stopped his singing and ran off stage, dropping the mike. He jumped into his chair and snapped up a Wiimote. His tiny hands clicked the A button and he skimmed through the message.

"Hancoku-san? Nan daiyo?" He muttered. "Pika pi, pik, pik, pikachu!" He yelled, running out of the stadium and jumping onto the mach bike parked outside. Pikachu tilted forward on his D-pad and was off in a random direction.

"Now, to be effective warp star warriors, you need to be effective pilots." Stated a short hairy gray ball. "All of you will try your luck in a take off with the flight star. Mr. Hoover, will you do the honors?"

"Yoy yo, yo yo (Yes sir commander, I will)!" A red puffball agreed. It laced up its tennis shoes and hopped on the pinkish star. He slammed the top point and leaned forward, taking the machine to the skies.

"Perfect, Mr. Dirt Devil!" The gray puff ball continued. A white puffball gave a nod and jumped onto the star, taking a quick shot into the skies. "And you Mr. Kirby… Mr. Kirby?"

"Boyo, boyo boy (Okay, okay fine)!" The round pink ball of fluff confirmed, dusting off his red running shoes. He looked back and forth the jumped on the star, spinning around and flying straight into the sky without a take off.

"Wow, excellent Kirby!" The commander added, flashing a peace sign to Kirby. Kirby cheered aloud and his star froze in midair. Kirby looked down at the machine and as soon as his eyes met the tip of the star it fell from the sky and exploded.

"BOYOOOOOOOOOOOO (Crapppppppppppppppppp)!" Kirby screamed, crashing into the next cadet in line.

"Kirrrrrrrbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The gray puff ball screamed. The commander had "had it up to here" with Kirby's shenanigans and was prepared to kick him out of the academy… again.

"O boi (Oh boy)." Kirby sighed.

Kirby later ended up in his quarters, fixing up the last of the warp stars he had ruined. His television beeped and his new Nintendo Wii lit up. Kirby picked up a remote with one hand, turning on the television. He tossed it to his bed as he took his Wiimote in his right hand and held down the power button.

"Boyo, boyo boy (Invitation, from John Handcock)?" He wondered aloud. "Boy, boyo yo yoy yo boyo (Perhaps I should pay him a visit)…"

Kirby resolved the conflict of interests by jumping on an un-ruined warpstar and flying out the window.

Author's Note: Okay, I feel better now. The story's mostly out of the way and something actually happens next time. I should have chapter 3 up by Monday (If I'm lucky). R&R as always, Feedback + and -. You know how we do.


	4. Chapter 3: When gamers collide it hurts!

Chapter 3: What are YOU doing here?

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue

"Now let's-a see. Mario needs to go-a to da left here and through the red warp pipe." Mario surmised, staring at the Map Quest directions he had gotten off the Opera Web Browser.

"But if I warp I won't be able to take my horse…" Link thought, tugging the reins on Epona.

"Boyo boi, boyoyoyo, boyo, boi, boi yo boyo. (And considering the fact that it's 29 degrees in Denver, Colorado now…)" Kirby said, tapping the battery meter on his Wiimote.

"Pika, pik, pik, pika, chu, pikchu, pika pi…" Pikachu finished, stowing his news channel prints away.

Mario pulled up to the red warp pipe and walked on in. A few moments later, Link ended up walking into a black and blue rip in the twilight. Kirby, "Crash-Landed" (Metaphorically speaking of course) his warpstar right between Mario's Kart and Epona and ended up taking the yellow warpstar upwards. And finally, Pikachu fell off the Mach Bike he rode in on and tripped into a green pokeball.

Mario reemerged through the other end of the warp pipe and walked into a dark room.

Link's gate soon dropped him into a black dimension which was like some type of twilight realm only darker…

Kirby fell off his star of dreams into a figurative nightmare of darkness, considering how dark the room was.

And Pikachu walked out of the pokeball dazed. He didn't like pokeballs too much, and it normally took him a minute to adjust to the light when he came out of one, but there was no light to adjust too (Shame eh?).

"What the hell-a happened?" Mario asked.

"Man, last time I walk into the light. Am I dead?" Link asked aloud.

"Boy o boyo boy (Boy oh boy oh boy! Where am I)?" Kirby wondered, trying to cut through the darkness.

"Pikachu, pika, ik, pik, ikachu, kach? Holy son of a Houndoom, where the Hoen am I? " Pikachu inquired. It took two steps back. "Chu Flash!" He cried out lighting up the immediate area with a flash attack.

"Hey, what was that?" The four of them asked. Now these Nintendo heroes aren't too bright (With the exception of a certain electric mouse, but he isn't exactly a genius either) and naturally when they heard the sounds of everyone asking the same question they decided to run to investigate. And there are plenty of reasons that explain why that was stupid.

Number 1: They're in a dark room and they're running around. Normal people like us know that if you run around in a dark room you're liable to step on something sharp or run into something because unless you're a cat, you damn well can't see.

Number 2: They've all met. Now odds are when you've known someone for a good seven years or so that you know their voice. Especially when those people only can only say "Boyo", "Kirby", "Bye", "Pikachu" and "It's-a me, Mario!". If you have to try and guess who they are, you've got a problem pal.

Number 3: If you're lost in a dark room, odds are that someone knows you're there, and you don't know what the hell they're planning if you can't see them and they can see you.

And finally, number four: When you hear that sound in that room, you know some one else is there with you. And when they hear you running, they'll run too. And if you don't run into each other and get a concussion then you'll probably scare each other off and'll have absolutely no idea how to help each other.

I could go on for a number of weeks about how terribly stupid those boys are but I've already used up too much space.

Anyway, those boys ended up rushing towards one another, in four different directions. And as they got closer to the center of the room, they could see each other just a little better. Now the Super Smash Brothers Brawl trailer'll have you thinking that those guys planned this meeting and they stopped before they hurt themselves. But fact is, they slammed into each other and near knocked one another out.

"Whaha!" Mario shouted as he jumped back up.

"Hut!" Link cried, drawing his sword and growling at Mario.

"Ha!" Kirby squeaked, spinning back around.

"Pika!" Pikachu finished as he rolled back to his feet.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" They all asked (in their own unique way of course).

"Come on: It's-a me, Mario! I gotta be here!" Mario explained, tipping his famous red hat.

"As the Hero of Time, I gotta be on time." Link answered coolly.

"Boyo(Lame)." Kirby uttered.

"Pikaika Seriously… …" Pikachu agreed. "Pik, pika, pik, pik, pi, pika, chu, chu, pik, pikachu, pik, chu! But anyway, you ran into me, I want an apology! "

"For what you little rodent? Shut uppa yo face!" Mario snarled.

"Hey, you stereotypical Italian bastard, you can't say that to him!" Link roared back, brandishing a sword.

"BOYO (BACK OFF)!" Kirby yelled, jumping infront of Mario.

"Pi-ka, pikachu Shut-up, douche!" Pikachu countered, going to Link's side.

"( THAT'S IT! )" They all screamed in unison. Mario flashed and took up a fighting stance. Link's eyes flickered and his tunic layered itself over a shirt of chain mail. Pikachu spun around and stretched out a little, slicking back its fur in a more slender looking form. Kirby looked back and forth, flashed once and… basically stayed the same.

Author's note: Now we're getting somewhere. I was still rolling with this one, so I'll add chapter 4 too. I've been having troubles with the Pikachu vs. Kirby translations and think I'm gonna have 'em both in parentheticals from now on, like this (blah). I orignally had the blah arrow deal for Pikachu, but now it feels like a forced attempt at individuality. Chapter 4 contains fighting, I promise.


	5. Chapter 4: Smash Moves

Chapter 4: Super Smash Moves

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue

Mario rushed forward and delivered a three hit combination to Link. Link spun away and snatched up his master sword. He rolled back around and slashed across Mario's chest, sending him flying into Kirby. The recoil from the hit accelerated and slammed into Kirby, hurling the puffball into the skies. Mario took a step back and spun around rapidly.

"Super Mario Tornado!" Mario announced, sending an tornado of energy around him and pushing the others away.

"Pik-Pik (Quick Attack) !" Pikachu called, warping around behind Mario and slamming into him with a firm head butt. As Kirby fell back from the air Mario recovered and began charging up his smash energy. He spun around once and delivered a powerful Fire fist to Kirby, throwing him back into the air. Mario rushed in on the puffball. As the warriors fought, they had been unaware of the ever changing scenery, as they had fought from a field, to a castle and off the castle falling back into the field.

Pikachu spun his electric charged tail around Link, aiming for his highly conductive shield and sword. Link jumped into the air and smashed his mystical boomerang into Pikachu's adorable yellow skull, throwing the pokemon for a loop and a half. Link also charged forward. Pikachu and Kirby landed back to back and charged together. Pikachu surged electricity into its cheeks and sent a jolt of static dancing across the ground. Kirby brandished a blade and soared high into the air, flipping around once and crashing his sword into the ground sending a wave of energy at Mario. Mario and Link both took the hits and began grappling with Kirby and Pikachu. Link reached into his pocket and removed his blue hook launched, firing the chain linked weapon at Pikachu. It snatched the pintsized electric rodent in its clutches and Link took the hilt of his sword, repeatedly smacking his opponent. Kirby slid in and grabbed Mario by the overalls. The plumber struggled as Kirby punched him once in the stomach, tosses him to the ground and jumped onto his back, dancing on him with his spiny sneakers.

Pikachu sent a jolt of electricity at Link through his metal weapon and stepped in on the Hylian swordsman. Gripping his tunic, Pikachu dropped what little weight it had to the ground, rolled backwards and threw Link into the air (accelerated with a surge of static.) Mario, escaping Kirby's onslaught, gripped both of his hands, spun around into a tempest of fury and with a loud "Yee-haw!" hurled the warp star apprentice behind him.

Link flipped out of the air and jutted his sword down over Mario, stabbing it right down on his head. Mario fell off his platform and towards the edge of the arena. He gritted his teeth as he pulled himself up and flipped onto the stage, snatching up a blazing blue orb.

"YO!" He announced. The other three Smash Brothers stopped fighting and turned their attention to the red clad Italian. "I think you outta take a step back before you catch a beat down yo!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Link asked.

"Then lemmie show you how it's done." He answered, with fiery eyes. Mario brought both of his flaming hands up into the air and drew them both back. He flung his hands forward and with it there was a massive crimson explosion of flame. The wave of fire danced through the stage and consumed Link, Pikachu and Kirby all at once. As the flames cleared, Mario's scorched rivals slowly rose to their feet.

"That ain't too bad Mario. But I've been practicing too." Link admitted, gathering an aura a flame. Mario's eyes widened. "This is why they released Twilight Princess on the Wii!"

Link took to the skies immediately and threw Mario into the air. His blade shone with a golden light and he cut a pair of triangles around Mario. The triangles pressed together, trapping the powerful plumber. And at that, Link flew into the air, and lifted his sword. He floated mere inches away as he flickered the blade around and hacked at Mario. He smirked, spun around once and slammed him into the ground.

"That the best you got biznitch?" Mario demanded.

"Bring it on!" Link taunted back.

"O Mario (Hey Mario)!" Kirby cried. He was consumed by a flaming outline.

"Wassa going on?" Mario shrieked as he spun around in a dark void. Kirby took a breath as he looked up at a falling chef hat. He snatched up the hat and bestowed it upon his pink head. At the same time, a great golden pot manifested itself under Mario and took him into its boiling being. The plumber cried out as the scalding sauna burned out of control and overtook him.

"Okay, not bad." Mario panted. Kirby and Link gripped their burning wounds as they faced off with Mario.

"Boyo boi(Right)." Kirby agreed.

"Pika pika (Don't forget about me)!" Pikachu added, tossing a blue smash orb up and down.

"Holy!" There was a great flash as Pikachu squeezed the object. A fiery energy took him over and he CENSORED FOR VIOLENCE

"Geez that's a tough move." Link gasped, dusting off his charred clothes. "No wonder I shouldn't carry metal objects in a thunder storm."

"That's-a too violent for a kids game." Mario panted.

Kirby nodded in agreement as he pushed the debris to the side. They had ended up in another huge dark room. Kirby rushed into Link and hurled him in air with a devastating flip kick. Pikachu and Mario met in mid air, leaping over one another and staring into each of their eyes. The four fighters took corners and stared each other down. A flicker hit the corner of Mario's eye and the foursome dove at each other.

Author's note: I feel like a big man, writing about Pikachu having his cute little skull bashed in by Link's boomerang. I got to write an action sequence, (Finally) after all that story nonsense. For anyone wondering, I kinda based the next few chapters of the story off the first trailer (It's amazing how much you can do with just a little springboard, and a lot of reading between the lines) I have no idea what Pikachu's Super Smash Move is, so I made it super violent and "censored" it. Personally, I have theory's like it's a (V)Bolt Tackle, or Zap Cannon or some move like that, but I'm trying to make a fan fic as "accurate" as it can possibly be. I'm probably failing misserably, but I feel like I'm a big man for trying. Well, if I get some time to really write this week, I'll have a new chapter up Friday evening. R&R, Wish Me Luck.


	6. Chapter 5: Newcomer approaching

Chapter 5: New Comers emerge

The four fighters took corners and stared each other down. A flicker hit the corner of Mario's eye and the foursome dove at each other.

"Boyo!" Kirby cried. The warriors stopped as the chamber began to rumble. Fissures broke open in the ground, shattering the floor beneath the warriors. Mario jumped high into the air and snatched the edge of a metal platform as Kirby, Link and Pikachu fell to their doom. A massive star cruiser flew into the air and hovered before Mario. As it did a figure appeared and stared straight at the plumber. The indigo cape left the warrior's face and a silver mask was revealed. The beady yellow eyes focused in on Mario as the cloak spread into spectacular wing, hovering the bluish ball creature into the air. It flashed it's sword at our mustachioed hero and soared downwards.

"What the?" Mario demanded. The winged fighter dove from the sky and vanished into the air before Mario. Mario glanced around before a dancing metal blade hacked through his overalls and shirt. The puff man spun around once, as the M on his armor flashed, and delivered a bladed uppercut. Mario spun into the air and fell from the platform.

"Pikachu! (MARIO!)" Pikachu screamed. "Pik, kachu, ika, pika, pik, chu? (Kirby, who the hell is that?) "

"Boy, boyo (I know him). Boi, boyoyo (And he's called-)-" Kirby gasped.

"Meta Knight, Blade of the Warrrp Starrrr Warrrriorrrrs!" He declared. (Newcomer: METAKNIGHT) Kirby took a breath of air and soared into the air after Meta Knight.

"Kiya, ING!" Kirby cried, slamming his sword down. The energy from the strike spun straight into Meta Knight. The swordsman cut straight through the blast and waved his blade at Kirby, slicing through his shielding and tossing him back.

"SEEEEEEEET!" Shouted a voice. Link screamed into the sky and swung his blade at Meta Knight. Meta Knight's eyes flashed as he met Link's strike.

"Not bad my frrriend, but you are still no match forr me." Meta Knight utter. He spun his sword up, tossing Link into the air. Link jumped back forward and Meta Knight turned around and slashed him a few times, finishing his strike and tossing Link back off the ledge.

"PIKAAAAAAAAA (OHGOOOOOOOOD!) " Pikachu screamed. As Meta Knight turned about to finish him off, a spiraling bullet of light struck from the skies.

"What the-" Meta Knight vanished behind his cloak as the energy bolt struck. The blast bounced off his shield and he jumped forwards.

"Ugh. I feel like I got hit by-a truck." Mario groaned.

"O boi (O Boy)." Kirby agreed.

"Momma Mia! What was-a that?" Kirby's plumbing pal asked.

"If I know my gaming history, that's an old pal of mine…" Link whispered. The Hylian sword-slayer looked up at the glowing figure in the sky.

"Pi… Pikch? (An angel?)" Pikachu wondered.

"Yo! Call me Pit!" The warrior cried. (Newcomer: PIT) A beam of light blasted away from him, revealing his light toned frame, cloaked in a white toga. His wings spread outwards as he clicked his sandals together and soared into the sky. A golden batch of rings orbited his arms as Pit pulled back his arms. He shot off a glowing blue arrow downwards and warped back around.

Meta Knight dodged to the side, spreading his wings and taking to the skies. Pit rushed forwards and kicked at Meta Knight. Meta Knight swiftly avoided his strike and delivered a sharp blow to Pit's side. Pit jumped back into the air and split his bow in two. The pieces gleamed and Pit dropped to the ground. Meta Knight ran down the platform and met Pit blade to blade. Pit waved his two swords and slashed at Meta Knight. Meta Knight leaped into the air and opened up his wings, catching the wind and blowing backwards. Meta Knight slashed downwards at Pit. Pit dropped back down and flew back into the air. The duo flew back and forth, bumping back and forth. Clashing metal and flying sparks fell from the glowing swords. Meta Knight hovered in the air and clashed and locked their swords together and braced themselves.

Author's Note: Geez, I haven't touched this thing in THREE WHOLE MONTHS! Well, now that I have an entire season written and school is over perhaps I can get back into this thing and start reading other works. E-3 is coming up and I got a guy that knows a guy that says he can get me in. So I'll drop by the Nintendo booth and get material for Super Smash Brothers Brawl Season 2. This is episode five. I should have about 15 more episodes after this one so be ready. As they say, Peace out Homies. And don't forget the crew. And WORD to your mother. Or something like that.


	7. Chapter 6: Babe Vs Bozo

Chapter 6: She's a girl? And he's from Mario?

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. (I think I got this whole disclaimer thing going pretty well.) Also, special thanks to my friends Shigeru Miyamoto and Sakurai-Sensei for coming up with the idea for Mario and the Super Smash Brothers.

"Aye, Blade knight! I picked sometin up on me scanner."

"I 'ere ya Sword knight, 'et's take a 'ook 'ow." The green armored swordsman agreed. He looked at his jade counterpart and they walked out of the control room.

Sword and Blade entered the _Halberd's _hanger and noticed a small orange space ship hovering in the docking bay.

"Whas that dere?" Sword asked.

"Couldn't 'ell ya." Blade confirmed. As they began to turn around a charged echoed through the air and an explosion whipped the duo forwards. A tall slender figure emerged from the shadows and strolled down the catwalk. It came to an opening where it observed to winged, sword wielding beings dueling.

"Hmm…" The armored figured wondered. It noticed a yellow flicker in the background and nodded. The figure rushed forwards and dropped onto one knee, pushing its cannon forwards. Particles whipped around the figure's cannon as a big blue ball formed together.

"Hmm?" The knight in the mask wondered.

"What the?" Pit exclaimed. Pit and Meta Knight jumped into the air. There was a huge discharged and recoil as a wave of pure energy nearly over took them and vaporized the platform they stood on. The portable station fell from the skies as Meta Knight and Pit fell out. Smoke cleared from the blast and the armored figure stood up. Only the chunks of orange armor had shattered, and dropped to the ground piece by piece. A long head of silky blonde hair ran down the skin tight blue jumpsuit that the curvy figure wore. It jumped from the falling platform and into the desert below with Meta Knight, Pit and the four defeated Super Smash Brothers.

"Man, are we even still in this fight?" Link complained.

"I think they forgot-a 'bout us." Mario answered, pulling himself to his feet.

"By the way, who was that? And where'd he go?"

"Boi, byo, bo, boy boi.(I doubt that he was he)…" Kirby considered.

"So that means he is she… and the only she we know with that kind of power is..." The Smash Brothers gasped. "SAMUS!"

"I figured you boys needed a little help." The blonde woman's silky voice explained. Her words flowed through the ears of Meta knight and he dropped to the ground, glowing red. "You wanna go first?" She winked, cocking her gun. (Newcomer: Zero Suit Samus)

"Well… I-i-i-i-i-i ai-yai-ya-yai." Pit stammered, flushing a red hue.

"Oh, the gun a little to much for you to handle?" She smirked. "Alright, point two." Samus flipped two switches on the firearm and its barrel flipped upwards and fired off an energy beam. The beam whipped around, flickering forwards when the girl flicked her wrist.

Kirby, Pikachu, Mario and Link all stared at the newly brandished whip and Samus' pose. The four fell backwards, propelled by a stream of blood flowing from their noses.

Samus and Pit stood head to head and rushed forward prepared for a strike.

The roar of an incredibly loud roar broke the silence of the incredibly intense battle field. A yellow motorcycle raced forward, straddled by a yellow hatted man in denim. He flicked his pointy mustache a gave a toothy smile.

"Oy, Mario, boi boyoo, boi boi. (Hey Mario, he's familiar looking.)" He breathed.

"Oh geez, it's-" Mario sighed.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed. The bike sputtered, and the rider spun into a rock. (Newcomer: WARIO) Wario brushed his clothing off and he tried to pull himself up. Mario and the others rushed to his rival's aid.

"He-he." Wario chuckled. A rumbling washed around in his stomach and his gut began to expand rapidly. The Mario, the Smash Brothers, Pit and Meta Knight took a step back as Wario turned around. They gasped as a flash lit up the area. A blinding explosion burnt out the desert, turning the area into a giant black room. A mushroom cloud popped up and consumed the boys, Samus and everything else.

Author's Note: Sweet! Ever since I've been out of school I've had time to write alot of stuff. I actually ended up extending the season another 5 chapters (We're up to twenty-five chapters now) and I might be able to update regularly now. The trailer stuff is pretty much done, so now I'll be playing with other aspects of the story.

Side Note: I'm finally caught up with Naruto: Hurricane Chronicles, and I came up with a wacky idea for the next few chapters. I'll keep ya posted.


	8. Chapter 7: Sarcastic Mimickry

Chapter 7: Legend of Samus is outta the question

"What the heck happened?" Link demanded, digging out of a sand dune. He looked over to his side and looked the figure up and down. "Zelda?"

"Zelda? I ain't Zelda." The figure replied. Samus sat up and brushed the rubble out of her hair.

"Oh god, Zelda is gonna have my ass on a platter for this one."

"So, _Legend of Samus: Prime Princess _is outta the question?" Samus asked, pulling Link up. He flicked a final grain of sand out of his hat and nodded. "Thought so."

"Okay fine, let's assume we didn't sleep together. Why aren't you wearing your power suit?"

"That energy blast I used over powered the Varia Suit," Samus began, walking around in the dark dimension. "And the recoil was so strong that it destroyed most of the suit, to the point where it was useless."

"I see, I wonder who started this. I bet it was Mario." Link snarled.

"What was-a Mario?" Shouted a voice. A blinding flash lit up the area and Mario stood with a glowing Pikachu on his shoulder. Wario also flanked him alongside Pit.

"It's-a you palsy!" Link said sarcastically, jumping onto a platform. Mario did the same and faced off with him.

"Fireball Attack!"

"Link & Arrow!" They fired off their blast techniques and fell back into the fray.

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where you meet the Heroes! The following is a brief bio of the character I feature. Special THX for my boy Skyler and my homie Krys. Othawise I couldn't roll like dis. Pimpin.

Name: Super Mario

First Appearance: Donkey Kong Arcade (1981)

Hails from: Brooklyn, New York. Or Toad Town, Mushroom Kingdom. Doesn't really matter.

Signature Move: Fireballs, Super Mario Spin Jump

Skills/Weapons: Super Human Agility, Various Transformations, Jack of All Trades

Bio: You know that test that psychologists do. You know, they say a word, and you say one back. Well if I say video game, and you don't say Mario: YOU GOT PROBLEMS BUDDY! Mario is _the _original videogame superhero and the ultimate Jack of All Trades. He's saved the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom one hundred billion times, drives Go-Karts, plays basketball, soccer (Football to anyone that's not a yank), baseball, has a medical license, plays tennis and golf, hangs with his brother, hangs with his younger self, wrangles dinos, leads the Super Smash Brothers and then has time to do some actual plumbing. And that's on an easy day. Mario's usually the favorite to win a lot of fights, but will he be able to defeat the new foe, John Handcock? And can he ever have another Super Smash Tournament? Only time will tell.

Author's Note: YEAH! We break the fourth wall like Naruto Shippuden, WHOOT! Well, i finished the first season and plan to have the whole story posted by the end of June. I'm really hyped for E3, since I'm GOING (I know a guy at a magazine, but shush). I was gonna delay season 2 until after the celebration, but with the new stuff Sakurai-sensei is posting on his site... I dunno. Check it out at It's in any language spoken in the free world, so all my Japanese tomodachi, European companions, Australian mates and my American Bros can all take a look. I think it even has Chinese and other lanuages, so tell everyone you know! Sensei is posting daily at this point.


	9. Chapter 8: Collect call for Snake

**Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now. But you already knew that.**

**Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. (I think I got this whole disclaimer thing going pretty well.)**

Chapter 8: The Auxiliary Call

(AUX Call)

-SNAKE! Sorry to bother you, but I have BIG NEWS!

-What? Not another absurd objective I hope.

-Are you familiar with the Super Smash Brothers?

-Ah… that Nintendo thing.

-Yes. Actually, we've received an invitation for _you _to join. So Snake: Are you up for it?

-…

-Where are you right now anyway?

-I'm on reconnaissance duty…

-Reconnaissance? Of what kind?

-Knowing your enemy is the quickest path to victory...

"Dammit!" Link roared, slashing his sword forwards. Mario leapt over the blade 

with ease, rolling behind Link and delivering a three hit combo. Link fell backwards and came around again with his blade.

"Whoa, look at 'em go!" Pit exclaimed.

"Some one _has _to do something!" Samus exclaimed. The others looked around and began whistling.

"Wassa matta wit you? I don't like-a Mario anyway." Wario muttered.

"Kirby! You're the only one with the powers to beat them!" Samus exclaimed. "Without my power suit I don't have nearly as much strength."

"O." Kirby sighed. He took it too the skies and body slammed the duo. "Boyoo (Stone Crush)!" Kirby's weight attack slammed down in between the rivals, pushing Mario and Link back. Link turned around and clashed with Kirby. Kirby spun around once and pushed him back, hoping into the air. As he did, Mario jumped back up and slammed his fist into him. Kirby shouted and flew back into the other fighters.

"Currses! I must continue the battle forrr Kirrrby!" Meta Knight declared, picking up his blade.

"END IT!" Link roared.

"I a-gree!" Mario concurred, rushing at Link with a roaring hand of flame. As they did, a cardboard box moved around and shot upwards. Link and Mario stopped and turned back around and turned to the box. A tall man with a dark five o'clock shadow appeared. His headband whipped around in his brown hair and his muscles pumped under his silver jumpsuit. (Newcomer: SOLID SNAKE)

"SHOW TIME!" He shouted. There was a long pause between the next words and Snake's declaration.

"Who the are ---- you?" Mario and Link yelled.

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where you meet the Heroes! The following is a brief bio of the character I feature. Special THX for my boy Skyler and my homie Crys. Othawise I couldn't roll like dis. Pimpin.

Name: Link, the Hero of Time

First Appearance: The Legend of Zelda (1987)

Hails from: Currently, Ordon Village, Hyrule.

Signature Move: Spin Attack

Skills/Weapons: Master Swordsman, brilliant musician, uses various weapons through the years

Bio: You know him, you love him, you can't believe he's not chibi anymore! It's Link. A real sword swinging hero, he's considered the only hero that can stand up to Mario. Armed with a mystic blade called Master Sword, he's time and again managed to vanquish the evil lord Ganon and plenty of other foes in between the time lines. He also has a knack for rescuing princesses. He's the second in command of the Smash Brothers, and rightly so. Link is also a skilled fighter, and takes his job seriously. Can he kick the others into gear so they'll finally start searching for John Handcock? And will he become the Super Smash Champion once again?

Author's Note: Shoot, I forgot the freakin' disclaimer in chapter 7 again. Man, I'm slacking. Oh well, I'm clearly not the owner, and I do give credit to Sakurai-sensei and Miyamoto-sensei, so I should be okay for now. I noticed a few problems in chapter 13, or 12 or something, where it talks about the identity of the final smashes and Mario's new finisher. I was gonna change that, but I think it'll be more epic to drop all the revelations with Season 2. Sorry about the freakishly non-violent and only semi-raunchy chapter 7, I promise chapters 9 and 10 will be better. Hope you enjoyed this one, and please remind me to tack on the disclaimers. Please!


	10. Chapter 9: You work for Nintendo now

Chapter 9: It's a Nintendo game

"SHOW TIME!" He shouted. There was a long pause between the next words and Snake's declaration.

"Who the ---- are you?" Mario and Link yelled."And where had he been all my life?" Samus blushed, looking Snake up and down. (They don't call him _solid_ for nothing after all.)"Great, just what I need, more competition." Pit sighed. Samus glanced over at Pit and he turned away, whistling an innocent tune. 

"I am the one the nerds call Solid Snake." Snake announced. The other eight videogame heroes glanced at one another in confusion. "Snake? From Metal Gear Solid?"

"Oh, that Sony thing." Mario nodded.

"Yeah, well actually, we've received an invitation for you to join." Link told Mario.

"……" Mario sighed.

"Where are you anyway?"

"They say that the quickest path to victory is knowing your opponent." Mario shouted, jumping out of a warp pipe behind Snake (Newcomer: SUPER MARIO) "It's-a me, Mario!" There was a brief silence before Mario, Link, Pikachu and Kirby fell to the floor in an uproar of laughter.

"That wasn't funny you bastards!" Snake snarled.

"Sure it is, you tried to sneak into our game, so we should be able to sneak into yours!" Link countered, wiping a tear from his bright blue eyes.

"Shut up." Snake hissed, lighting up a cigarette.

"Up-bu-bup! No smoking, this _is-_a Nintendo game you know!" Mario said, snatching up the cigarette. He replaced it with a cherry lollipop and snapped it back into Snake's mouth. Snake snarled again and reached for his 45MG. but to his dismay, he found that his holster had been emptied.

"Where the ---- is my gun?" He roared again.

"Nintendo game." Link repeated.

"Then why does she get to keep _her _gun?" Snake pointed at Samus' weapon.

"Boyo(It's a laser, so it's okay. But no real world guns cuz gun violence is bad)." Kirby explained.

"Eh?" He asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"Pika, pik, pikka, pikk, pi, pi, pika, chu, chu, u, ch, pik, pikch, ika, pika, pikachu (Laser's and other forms of fantasy violence are non-imitatible so they're okay. But guns and smoking _are _imitatable.)." Pikachu tried to explain once more.

"Does _anyone_ know what the hell these things are saying?" He posed to the others.

"Boi-yo (I do)!" Kirby answered.

"Pi-kaa (Me too!)!" Pikachu agreed. Solid Snake's eye twitched as he reached for his weapon again.

"No guns eh?" He asked. Pikachu nodded. He reached into his pocket and removed an RPG. "But bombs, rockets and explosives are okay?" Pikachu gave him a peace sign of agreement. "All I need to know."

Snake turned around and launched the weapon in Mario's face. Mario flew into the skies and vanished in a twinkle of light.

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where you meet the Heroes! The following is a brief bio of the character I feature. Special THX for my boy Skyler and my homie Krys. Othawise I couldn't roll like dis. Pimpin.

Name: Jeanluc Pikachu Ketchum

First Appearance: Pokemon RB (1998)

Hails from: Pallet Town, Kanto

Signature Move: Thunder Bolt

Skills/Weapons: A variety of Electrical and other types of attacks.

Bio: Jeanluc (as he's been named in the Manga _Tale of the Electric Pikachu_) is another Super Smash hero and video game icon. As Mario was the creator of the plat former, Pikachu is considered king of the handhelds. A favorite, especially among the ladies, for his cute outward appearance, Pikachu isn't all about cute and fuzzy. This little mouse packs millions of volts of electricity in it's little red cheeks. (They don't call them _Pocket Monsters _for nothing you know.) His first starring role was in the Pokemon anime and shortly after in Pokemon Yellow: The Special Pikachu Edition. He's always played a role in the Super Smash adventures. Can he reclaim his title as Super Smash Brothers champion and set a record for making it for three consecutive years? Or will he fall prey to John Handcock's scheme first.

Author's Note: Well, I started that whole "Meet the Smash Bros" thing and I think it's been going pretty well, the losers I hang out with keep e-mailing me about it. Anyway, this chapter introduces what will be a long adored running gag. What that is, you need to find out by reading more.


	11. Chapter 10: A Narutoclass filler!

You Know the Drill: Here's the disclaimer

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. (I think I got this whole disclaimer thing going pretty well.)

I am the block you just can't break, I am the blade that you're inclined to take

I am the electricity found in your scream, I am the star that inhabits your dreams

I am the tip of an arrow of risk, And that silver mask you can't resist

I am the hero that broke the mold, I am the beast that won't do as it's told

I am the rival that ain't right, I am the snake that stays outta sight

Wii finally gathered 'em all, And it's finally time to Brawl

THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWLERS

Chapter 10: Wii blog too

Chapter 10: Wii blog too

reconvened on their favorite internet forum using their Opera web browsers on their Wiis (All except Snake, since he isn't Nintendo and didn't get a free one so he just shared with Samus, but he did have his own Wiimote for one reason or another). 

Anyway, Mario kicked off the blog by posting his topic at the top of the Brawl board (On a forum which will remain nameless for the time being).

-What up G-$? (SuperMario128)

-Zen Zen (Nothing at all) (PikachuYellow150)

-Still can't understand it. (MetalGearSnake4)

-Anyway… y did u 5 end up here? You aren't Smash Brothers like we are. (TwilitLink18)

-You mean 4 punk. I'm still a Smash Sister, clothes or not. (Samus-0)

-(snickers) I can tell (KirbySquadCC)

-Perv. (Samus-0)

-BACK ON TOPIC: Well Masterrr Link, I was invited by a man by the name of John Handcock. (MetalKnightSS)

-U don't have to type out the extra "Rs" online Meta Knight. (SuperMario128)

-(snickers) Hand-Cock? (KirbySquadCC)

-(Quote SuperMario128: U don't have to type out the extra "Rs" online Meta Knight.) I know, it's just fun. (Quote KirbySquadCC: (snickers) Hand-Cock?) Shut-up u perv.

-Wassamatta? It funi! Real funi! a pun, not funny. (ChibiIcharus)

-Shut-uppa yo face! Italian freak. (ChibiIcharus)

-John Handcock Eh? I've heard about that name. (TwilitLink18)

-Regardless, we all oughta meet up and figure out what's goin' down. (SuperMario128) (SuperMario128 logged out)

-Sweet, loggin out. (TwilitLink18)

-Mata ne (See ya). (PikachuYellow150)

-Peace out money! (KirbySquadCC)

-READY STEADY GO! out (Samus-0) Sign off (MetalGearSnake4)

-I bid you farrrrewell my ferrieds. (MetalKnightSS)

-Can't anybody just say "Good-bye" anymore? (ChibiIcharus) 

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where you meet the Heroes! The following is a brief bio of the character I feature. Special THX for my boy Skyler and my homie Crys. Othawise I couldn't roll like dis. Pimpin.

Name: Kirby, Warp Star Warrior (In training)

First Appearance: Kirby's Dream Land (1992)

Hails from: Cappy Town, Dream Land, Pop Star

Signature Move: Vacuum

Skills/Weapons: He's a man of many, many faces. Ability to fly naturally. Unlimited stomach capacity. Ability to fly Warp Stars.

Bio: Kirby is one of Nintendo's most well known characters among children. His games are known for short completion times and lots of replay value, and as are his powers. He was the first Super Smash Brother to learn how to "fly" (he has the ability to jump up to five times after he inflates himself, making him a popular character among the distance jumping impaired). The tiny Warp Star warrior has spawned an anime series in his fairly short lifespan and many (mostly handheld) videogames. His games are a staple of the DS, using it's interactive capabilities to bring the lighthearted style of play that made him so popular in the first place. Kirby has traveled to the Super Smash Brothers in hopes of finding John Handcock. And after Handcock is finally defeated, perhaps he can win a few Super Smash Battles, and become a champion, forcing his commanding officer to accept him for who he is.

Author's Note: Yeah, I did a blog, theme song and a "Meet The Characters" Segment in the same chapter. Can you say "filler"? I kinda slacked off on this one, but I might have something nice by tomorrow. All the stuff that Sakurai-sensei loads onto the site is getting to be pretty cool. I think he's basicly confirmed Yoshi's return (Like an original Smash Brother wouldn't come back). Anyway, I think I might put up another chapter tomorrow. It's pretty tweaked and a little insensitive but it's not a political joke so I might get away with it...


	12. Chapter 11: Initiations, get the butter!

I am the block you just can't break, I am the blade that you're inclined to take

I am the electricity found in your scream, I am the star that inhabits your dreams

I am the tip of an arrow of risk, And that silver mask you can't resist

I am the hero that broke the mold, I am the beast that won't do as it's told

I am the rival that ain't right, I am the snake that stays outta sight

Wii finally gathered 'em all, And it's finally time to Brawl

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. (I think I got this whole disclaimer thing going pretty well.)

Chapter 11: That's not part of the initiation…

Much later, the Super Smash Brothers and… associates for lack of a better term had assembled at the Super Smash Base in Disk Channel City. (Dear god, please stop all the puns.)

"Okay then, you four wanna be Super Smash Brothers eh?" Mario asked, slurping up the last of his pasta. Kirby looked them over as he polished off another plate of rice balls. Link continued chugging his Moo-Moo Milk while Pikachu took a bite out of his huge apple. Samus finished off the last of her drink and crossed her legs. Needless to say, she hadn't exactly started wearing her power suit again. The boys didn't complain at all, which also goes needless to say. 

"Surrrre, I'd love to go head to head with Kirrrrrby in a prrrrroperrrr battle. Bowserrrrr, Ganondorrrrrrf and Mewtwo rrrrrave about being able to fight Marrrrrrio, Link and Pikachu on a daily basis." Meta Knight admitted.

"Link and I have made enormous strides since our NES debuts. I wanna see which one of us has progressed more." Pit announced.

"We hung out once in junior college, I really don't know you that well." Link groaned.

"Hasn't he only had-a one od-a game?" Wario whispered. Meta Knight nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I sure wanna test my skills." Pit admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And as for-a me. I, Wario Wario, intend to beat-a Mario in everything and get real-a rich in-a-the process." Wario exclaimed. His pupils lit up with dollar signs.

"I really don't give either way." Snake muttered. The others stared at Samus. She looked around at them.

"I already _TOLD _you, I'm already a member of the Super Smash Brothers. I was the first Super Smash Sister! You don't _need _to initiate me." Samus growled.

"Awww." Kirby, Link, Mario and Pikachu groaned. Samus gave them a cold stare and they began twiddling their thumbs and whistling various theme songs.

"ALLLLLLLLLRIGHTY THEN!" Link yawned. "Meta Knight, I guess you get sworn in first."

"What task must I complete beforrrrrre being inducted into yourrrrr orrrrrganization?" Meta Knight inquired, with wide eyes.  
"Boyo boyo, boi, boi, oboyo (You gotta take off that stupid mask)." Kirby muttered. Meta Knight sighed and fingered the silver veneer.

"Is it trrrrruly necessarrrrrry?" Meta asked again. The four, I mean five Smash Brothers nodded in unison. "Verrrry well then." Meta Knight slowly covered his face with the glove.

"Great, now you gotta-" Mario began. Meta Knight removed his mask. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Meta Knight stared at Mario. The others looked at the unmasked Knight and realized he simply had a slightly lighter colored mask on underneath. Meta Knight replaced his mask to quell Mario's shouts. "Gotta sign these papers and your all set."

Meta Knight scribbled a signature onto the contract and nodded.

"Pik, pi ka. (Pit, you're up.)" Pikachu reminded him. Pit stood up at attention, waiting for his order.

"Okay, first you do one million push ups, and then one million-a sit ups, a good-a million Super Ultra Hyper Nega Megaton Punches, and-a 'nother eight million fireballs and-"

"Stop Mario!" They all growled.

"I actually liked the torture through training idea." Link admitted.

"How bout-a this? He eats twenty hamburgers at once, and if he throws up, he's gotta eat em again!" Mario suggested.

"Shut up Mario." Samus scolded. "Listen Pit, just tell what your WoW account name is."

"I don't play World of Warcraft. I have a life."

"He's in."

"Dang, I wanted to PWN him on WoW." Mario pouted.

"Pika pi, pi ka, pika chu. (I agree, he's a total N00b.)" Pikachu added. Pit too added his signature to the Super Smash Brothers Contract.

"Okay Wario, your turn!" Mario announced. Wario stepped up.

"Boyo, boi, boi, oio, boyo? (Are you ready for your task?)" Kirby asked. Wario nodded.

"Bring it-a on!" Wario challenged.

"Okay, to become a Super Smash Brother you need to fork over." Link began. The crowd became silent as he brought his pinky up to the right corner of his mouth. "One hundred _billion _gold coins."

"GAAAAH!" Wario screamed. He dropped to the floor and began writhing around.

"Dear god, wassa matta?" Mario screamed. Snake rushed over to Wario.  
"I think he's having a seizure." Snake said. He reached into his pocket for a pack of smokes. Good smokes. Pikachu promptly smacked the cigarettes out of his hand

"Pik, Pik, Pik, PIKA! (One, two, three, CLEAR!)" Pikachu screamed. It shot thousands of volts of electricity through Wario's body. Wario's eyes rolled to the back of his head as his muscles spasmed even more.

"His seizure's even worse now!" Samus screamed.

"Wario hurry, sign this paper!" Mario yelled. "It says, 'Wario can live if he signs everything over to Mario." Snake took Wario's pulse.

"He's flat-lining." Snake muttered.

"Okay, fine you're in if you can wake up!" Mario added.

"Wassup?" Wario cheered. The other eight tipped over.

"You _FAKED _a seizure?" Link screamed. "You're a terrible person!"

"Just gimme tha papah." Wario ordered. Mario handed his rival the contract and he scribbled his signature on it.

"I'll-a get-a you for-a this. I'll-a kill you in-a-your sleep. I'll drug-a you with sleeping pills. Or I'll drug-a your pills." Mario surmised.

"How you gonna drug-a-the pills?" Wario wondered.

"I will find-a-the way. You just-a watch." Mario scowled.

"You no know how-a do that." Wario laughed.

"You'll-a see, I'll kill-a you prison style." Mario laughed. "Put glass in-a you milk." The others looked at him and shrugged as they continued arguing.

"And for you Snake." Link smirked. Snake looked at him skeptically. "You remember what we said earlier?"

"No." Snake blinked.

"Okay, in that case: Mario, get the unicycle and the Vaseline. I'll get the chug-o-matic 3000 and the treadmill." Link smiled.

"Boyo, boi, boi, oyo! (Don't forget the buzz saws!)" Kirby shouted.

"What the did I sign up for?" Snake gasped.

Soon, Snake was dodging rabid gorillas in the background of Meta Knight's Halberd as Link recorded data streaming from the sensor nodes placed on Snake's body.

"I don't remember this being part of the initiation…" Samus recalled.

"Sush!" The other Smash Brothers whispered. Hours later, the New Super Smash Brothers had all been initiated.

"Great job crew. You all passed. We are now to be known as the Super Smash Brothers Tripled! Now it's time for our real test." Mario announced, opening the door. Outside, there was a rabid mob of gamers of all nations, pushing their way in front of a desk. "We're holding a press conference."

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where - aw you know the drill. Credits to Sky and Krys.

Name: Wario Wario

First Appearance: Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

Hails from: Wherever there's treasure.

Signature Move: Wario Shoulder Ram

Skills/Weapons: Super Human Strength, Various Transformations, Micro Games, Flatulence.

Bio: Wario Wario is Mario's archrival (or one of them next to Bowser) and the CEO of WarioWare Mega Microgame$ Inc. His ambitions include outdoing Mario and getting super rich while doing it. Usually, Wario wears plumbing clothing, similar to Mario's but has chosen to sport his Warioware look for the Super Smash Brothers. Wario's abilities, while rivaling Mario's, are still vastly different. For one, Wario has a much higher strength stat than Mario does. He's not quite as agile, but his transformations do serve as a parallel to Mario's (Including a Dragon suit and Vampire evolution to counter Mario's Fireballs and Wing caps) Wario has also revealed a new move of his named the Wario Waft. It uses his, for lack of a better term, flatulence to disable his foes. But will Wario's greed and lust for defeating Mario actually hold back the team in their search for John Handcock?

Author's Note: I appologize for the seizure joke, I can't stress that enough. But it IS a videogame fic and it was coming anyway. The next one might not be AS contreversial... I think. Anyway it looks like the theme song is official now and that I should have all twenty something chapters up by the end of the month... perhaps. Thanks for reading, please review and look out for chapter 12 next week.


	13. Chapter 12: E3 all over again

I am the block you just can't break, I am the blade that you're inclined to take

I am the electricity found in your scream, I am the star that inhabits your dreams

I am the tip of an arrow of risk, And that silver mask you can't resist

I am the hero that broke the mold, I am the beast that won't do as it's told

I am the rival that ain't right, I am the snake that stays outta sight

Wii finally gathered 'em all, And it's finally time to Brawl

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue. (I have MASTERED the writer's art of Disclaimer. FEAR ME!)

Chapter 12: DESTROY ALL FANBOYS, BRAWL!

"Great job crew. You all passed. We are now to be known as the Super Smash Brothers Tripled! Now it's time for our real test." Mario announced, opening the door. Outside, there was a rabid mob of gamers of all nations, pushing their way in front of a desk. "We're holding a press conference."

"Press conference?" The new fighters asked.

"Yup, let's get-a to work." Mario started.

"Mr. Mario, first question!" A reporter screamed. "Is the Nintendog a real item?"

"Yes, yes it is." Mario answered quickly. "Next question!"

"Mr. Mario, what was that blue orb with the Smash Bros symbol on it?" Another reporter asked.

"It's a Super Smash Orb. The name isn't finalized."

"What were those attacks you used?" A female reporter demanded.

"Nothing, just call 'em Super Smash Moves for now!" Link answered.

"Why didn't Kirby get a graphics upgrade?" Shouted another.

"Boio, boyo boi! (My look is perfect!)" Kirby snarled.

"Is it because the Wii has the graphics are just the graphics of a Gamecube 2?" A reporter asked.

"Get him outta here!" Link ordered. The reporter was promptly shot. "Next!"

"How many characters are you shooting for?" Called a journalist.

"Pika, Pik Pika Chu Kach Pikapi. (Well, we're shooting for about forty.)" Pikachu answered, waving her down. "Pik kachu. (Next question.)"

"Forty?" Link whispered.

"We're doing some recruiting." Mario answered under his breath.

"Will Samus not have her clothes on all the time?" Asked a fan boy.

"Actually, I'm wearing clothes right now you perv." She snarled. "And to try and answer your obscure question, I'm having the Varia Suit repaired. It will be functional by the start of the tournament, but I will be using the Zero Suit as a transformation."

"What are the conditions?" He asked.

"Why don't I just tell you what happens in Super Smash Brothers 4 while I'm at it? Next question!" Samus commanded.

"Is Solid Snake really gonna be in this game?" A columnist asked.

"No, I'm just in the trailer for the hell of it. And now I'm just sitting here to answer questions." He growled. "Yeah I'm in it. Why else would I be here?"

"Will there be other third party characters?" Came another voice.

"We do want a couple more third party characters, that's-a true." Mario admitted. Snake glared at him. "Oh you're in the damn game. Next-a question!"

"Who is Pit, and why should we care?" Screamed yet another ignorant writer. Pit jumped up and shot a beam of light from his bow.

"That's why, NEXT QUESTION BIZNITCHES!" Pit declared.

"Will Snake have a Metal Gear?"  
"NO!" Mario, Link and Samus screamed in unison. Snake glared at them.

"Will he still have all of his weapons?"

"Boyyyyyyo!(No guns! No smokes! Just good old fashioned martial arts and explosives.)" Kirby shot back.

"What about his Super Smash Move?"  
"Shut uppa yo face already!" Wario snarled.

"Why does Nintendo have a problem with real world weapons?"

"Piiiii-ka-chuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Pikachu shouted. A bolt of thunder broke the ceiling and incinerated the journalist. "PIK! (NEXT!)"

"What are Pikachu and Samus' Super Smash Moves? And where are the rest of the Super Smash Brothers?"

"PIKA! (SHUT UP!)" Pikachu roared. The reporter withdrew his question.

"Sakurai-sensei has to deal with this everyday?" Pit asked.

"That is corrrrrect." Meta Knight answered.

"Wario, what took so long for you and Meta Knight to join the ranks of the Smash Brothers?"

"Mario's-a douche!" Wario snapped.

"So is Kirrrrrby!" Meta Knight added frankly.

"Wario, do you seriously use farting as an attack?"

"It's called a Wario Waft!" He answered.

"Is Sonic the Hedgehog in this game?"

"Boyo boyo boi? boi boi boi! (Who let him in? Shoot his ass!)" Kirby cried.

"What about Japan only games? How will the people get their voices heard for their suggestions?"

"We're having auditions later. They're all people that we got suggestions for." Link answered.

"Is it online?"

"For the last time YES!" Samus roared.

"What's up with the whole opera music thing?"

"What's up with you, you unculturrrrred swine?" Meta Knight snapped.

"Is there motion sensitivity available in the game?"

"We're not-a sure yet. But it will be compatible with the Gamecube controller!" Mario called.

"Mario, why do you continue to hold Italian Americans back 100 years with that terribly offensive accent of yours?"

"Whaddaya want, the ------- sopranos? Buy a PS2!" Mario snarled.

"Link, why do you continue to wear tights and carry around a giant sword. Are you having an affair with the guys from Final Fantasy?"

"That's it, this press conference is over!" Link cried. He rushed out of the room with his hands in his face. The other Super Smash Brothers sighed and slowly followed him out.

Meet The Smash Brothers

Okay, here's the segment of the Fic where you meet the Heroes! The following is a brief bio of the character I feature. Special THX for my boy Skyler and my homie Krys. Othawise I couldn't roll like dis. Pimpin.

Name: Samus Aran

First Appearance: Metroid (1989)

Hails from: K-2L, later lived with the Chozo People.

Signature Move: Charge Shot

Skills/Weapons: Power Beam, Ice Beam, Plasma Beam, Wave Beam, Bombs, Missiles, enhanced acrobatics, "Screw Attack" and other types of blasts.

Bio: Samus Aran is an intergalactic bounty hunter that was trained by the Chozo People. A mighty fighter in all regards, she is constantly called upon to fight against her blood enemies: The Space Pirates. Time and again she is forced to defeat her arch enemies: Ridley and Kraid, and on occasion the Mother Brain. But more and more often, Samus is seen fighting herself. Clones such as SA-X and Dark Samus, and even on occasion other Rival Bounty Hunters. Samus is often confused for a man, considering the fact that she is always seen in a "man's role" of bounty hunting. But that doesn't make her any weaker. She was the original Super Smash Sister and holds a high amount of respect amongst her fellow Smash Brothers, male or female. This time around, Samus doesn't intend to use her power suit all the time. Instead, she promises that under special conditions, she will switch to her Zero Suit mode. How will this ability make the battle against John Handcock any different?

Author's Note: Uh, yeah. Remember that this was written before Masahiro Sakurai reformated as a development blog. I just left the jokes in their for continuity and comic effect. Chapter 13 is hilarious, I'll do that one friday or later if I feel like it.


	14. Chapter 13: The ultimate Job Interview

I am the block you just can't break, I am the blade that you're inclined to take

I am the electricity found in your scream, I am the star that inhabits your dreams

I am the tip of an arrow of risk, And that silver mask you can't resist

I am the hero that broke the mold, I am the beast that won't do as it's told

I am the rival that ain't right, I am the snake that stays outta sight

Wii finally gathered 'em all, And it's finally time to Brawl

And here i go. (Rat, Horse, Tiger, Monkey, Hare, Dragon. Writer Release: Disclaimer Technique)

Disclaimer: Nintendo is the full legal owner of all the following: Super Mario, Mario, Link, The Legend of Zelda, Pikachu, Pokemon, Kirby, Kirby's Dreamland and all other characters and names. I usually forget to add that they belong to Hal Labs, Nintendo, Konami and all other respective owners, so I'll say that for now.

Readers are cautioned. This fic is rated Teen. This fic will contain Intense Sci-Fi Action Violence, Sexual Situations, Coarse Language and Suggestive Dialogue.

Chapter 13: The New Brawlers

"Send in the first moron." Link sighed. He, Mario and Pikachu had been dropped behind a counter in hopes of finding a tenth Smash Brother. You know, to help fill at least a starting roster of ten fighters.

"Good morning! My name is Chrono. I work at Chrono trigger and I-" A red haired young man began.

"Wait, are you another swordsman?" Link asked.

"Yes. But I have these powers. Like time-"  
"NEXT!" Link yelled.

"Suppi? I'm Jeff from Earthbound. My special power is making weapons." Announced a lens wearing blond.

"Sweet, what are your powers?" Mario inquired. "Can you do that psychic crap Ness can do?"

"Well, no. The weapons thing _is _my power. But I-"  
"NEXT-A VICTIM!"

"Howdy? My name is Banjo. And this here's my bud Kazooie." Said a large bear. He lifted his back pack and a squawking red bird gave a beaky smile.

"Pik pikapi. (Not Happening.)" Pikachu muttered.

"Hey, this is Goku guys!" Smiled a man with large hair.

"NO!" They growled in unison.

"Bobobo. Bobobobobo. (I'm the Hero from Custom Robo. I can drive a 12 inch tall robot.)" A young man with gray hair said. He was holding a blue cube in his hand.

"Don't call us, we call you." Link reminded him.

"Yo! Yo! Rollin out of Advanced Wars DS, rocking through 'em all. You just found Jake so get ready to Brawl. I'm gonna smack the Master Hand like a habit that's whack." The Smash Brother stare at Jake. He was garbed in white, although he still had on a large set of headphones.

"Pika ika. (Go home.)" Pikachu huffed.

"Yo say no cuz I'm white." Jake complained, as he stomped out the door. "Racist ."

"Did he just-a call us ?" Mario demanded. "NEXT!"  
"Attention! I'm the commander from Battalion Wars! General Herman-" A pudgy man said as he waddled through the door.

"About Face! Outward, March!" Mario returned

"Uh-huh. My name _is _Vyse Dyne, from the cult classic _Skies of Arcadia Legend. _I was looking for a spot in the new Super Smash Brothers crew." Vyse answered, adjusting his clear eye patch.

"What did I just say about swordsmen? NEXT!" Link roared.

"Yay! (Hi, I'm AiAi from Super Monkey Ball. Pleased to meet you.)" A small monkey with a zorb smiled as he walked through the door.

"Pikachu, pik! (Too cute, NEXT!)" Pikachu shouted.

"Everyone calls me the Full Metal Alchemist. But you can just call me Ed." A short (I'M NOT SHORT) blond kid with a metal arm announced as he entered the room.

"NO MORE BLONDS! Get out, get out, GET OUT!" Link screamed. "I'm the only sexy blond guy."

"Good morning gentlemen. My name is Lloyd Irving, from the Tales of series. I was in Tales of Symphonia." A child with dual blades entered the room. He ran his fingers through his spiky brown hair.

"GO HOME!" Link snarled. A door opened but no one entered. "NEXT?"  
"Hello, I'm Captain Omalir. I work at Pikmin. These are my Pikmin." Replied a microscopic space man. He was surrounded by a band of multicolored insects.

"We can't see you, you can't have the job. Please don't get stepped on." Link replied.

"Geez, take-a ov-a the whole interview why don't-a you?" Mario complained.

"YO! I'm Joe. But you can call me Viewtiful."  
"Pika pika, pik, pik, chu pik, kachu pik pikachu. (We can also call you for the job, but don't count on it.) " Pikachu countered the red clad warrior. "Pika! (Next!)"

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ike, the lord from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance."  
"LEAVE ME BE!" Link screamed. His eye twitched as veins exploded from his head. Ike slowly backed out the door, being sure to readjust his headband which had been blown to the side by Link.

"Mesa Jar-Jar Binks, mesa wanna be Supah Sash Brudda." Jar-Jar smiled. Pikachu reached up with his tiny fist.

"Pik pika, kach, pichu, pikachu. (I have five reasons for why you can't.)" He pointed his little yellow paw forward. "Ich, ni, san, shi, go!" Pikachu blew on the smoking barrel as Jar-Jar's limp body slid down the trap door.

"Hey, hey, hey. Megaman's the most requested hero of the day." Snapped a small blue machine. Mario stared at the blue bomber. He shot a fire ball at him and hurled him out the door.

"Yo! I'm Bombah Man!" Yelled an armor clad munchkin.

"Bomberman's here too? DIE!" Mario screamed, hurling another ball of fire at his bomb hurling rival.

"Now who's taking over the interviews?" Link teased. "NEXT!"  
"Hey, my name is Sonic. Sonic-" A gun shot went off, and in an instant, the limp body of the blue hedgehog was sliding down the trap door.

"Sup. My name is Cloud… I guess." Yet another blond, black clad, sword wielding maniac had entered the mix.

"Oh, just what we need: Another angst ridden anti-hero. We already have _Solid Snake_: We honestly don't need you. So go home and cry to your girlfriend." Link muttered. "Oh, wait: She's dead! HA!"  
"Shut up you bastard. You're girlfriend dies too!" Cloud pouted.

"Yeah, but she gets reincarnated every time I do. And every time I get reincarnated, I always have a girl ready. I'm a pimp! And a real swordsman. Take that you little emo bitch." Link teased. Cloud lifted his sword. "DIEEEEE!" Link roared. Before Cloud could strike, Link cleaved the FF7 protagonist in two. "Little emo punk, NEXT!"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEY! My name is Naruto Uzumaki, the next Hokage and Super Smash Brother!"

"For the last time, no more Anime characters!" Link screamed. Pikachu began to sniffle. "Oh you don't count."

"That's discrimination, and you'll be hearing from my lawyer: Believe it!" Naruto roared, adjusting his headband in his spiky blond hair before storming out.

"How many more nitwits?" Mario sighed.

"Pika pi, pikchu pika. (Just don't forget to walk the dog.) " Pikachu sighed.

"Sup, I'm Diddy Kong!"

"Raiden, I work at Metal Gear 3."

"Ryu, I was a street fighter."

"Didn't we just tell Goku to go home? Get the hell out!" Mario roared.

"Aries, I'm the God of War."

"Ratchet" "And Clank" "At your service"

"I'm Daxter, He's Jak. He doesn't talk." "Yes I do."

"NO ELVES!" Link screamed.

"The nerds call me the Chief."

"Crash Badicoot's the name."

"Dark Samus Aran, I'm the 'son' of the original Samus Aran."

"Dante. I do the whole Devil May Cry thing."

"SA-X. The 'son' of the original Samus Aran."

"Samurai Goroh. I rock with Captain Falcon."

"Mii wants to be Brawler."

"Oh forget it! Let's just catch up with the others back at the base." Link sighed.

"A-boy howdy." Mario agreed. Pikachu nodded.

"OBJECTION!" Shouted a voice. The trio stopped packing their papers and turned to the sound. A man with slicked back hair wearing a blue suit appear. He was a lawyer. "Phoenix Wright: Ace attorney."

"Are you here to try outta for-a-the Brawl too?" Mario asked.

"Actually, I'm here to serve you a summons." He answered. "It's a suit from my client, Naruto Uzumaki, suing you people for one hundred trillion yen on the charge of denying equal opportunity employment. I'll see you in court! Believe it!"

And with that, Phoenix left the room. The three Smash Bros sighed and slowly left the room.

"The sad-a part was, even though he didn't try out... he was the best candidate." Mario sighed.

Author's Note: Avoided a racist line today. Bleeped it out. Don't I rock? Also, sorry about all the trap door jokes, but it's Jar-Jar and freakin' Sonic the bloody Hedgehog. Have a little respect. Oh, and I humbly ask that you read/review. Please? Thank you.


End file.
